15 yrs later… how do you do it?


I hear a lot of people talk about how marriage is hard. It’s hard work requiring lots of effort. I see my friends experience this and condemn marriage as the problem. Well. I have to tell you. My marriage is not a lot of work. Sure, we fight like cats and dogs, but as much as we fight we generally just get along. And people say we’re lucky. Well, I’ll say that’s half the battle. I am one of the luckiest guys ever because (now I’m realizing) VERY early in my life, I found a woman that I am compatible with. I think back to when we were 24, and I see our relationship as exactly the same as now, 15 yrs later. We had all of the things that young couples have, excitement, a lot of laughs, passionate arguments, but I realized along the way that we were basically the same. The way we believe about the most basic things in life is the same. Our personalities are polar opposites, our backgrounds are similar, our interests are completely different, but at the most basic level, we are compatible. I think the other half of making this marriage work for another 50 yrs is understanding that compatibility and recognizing it when I was 24. I think the problem that a lot of couples run into when they get married is not putting enough weight on that question of compatibility.  Believe me, you will gain weight, and get wrinkles, and lose your hair, and so on. And in the end all you’re left with is the heart and soul of the person you choose. Half of the story for us is luck, the other half is making that choice. We’ve had some hard times in our lives, some struggles, but we’ve never struggled with each other. We’ve struggled together against the world, and that’s the most important thing for a marriage whether you’re planning one, or looking back on 15 yrs. You must do it together. Happy Anniversary Mary… We’re just getting started.



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